Chapter-10: Dear Lord Nrsimhadeva, Please Remove the Seed of Fear from My Heart

August 9, 1996

Grozny, Chechnya 

By Indradyumna Swami

6:35 a.m. Last night before falling asleep, I was thinking to myself, “Why did Andrei decide to run to some other place when I ran back to the school, when we saw that Chechen rebel?” If there is any safe place in the universe, it is where the devotees are.

Had only one glass of water with which to take a bath this morning.

9:00 a.m. Completed twelve rounds of japa.

10:45 a.m. We fashioned a temporary altar and brought out our Nrsimhadeva Deity and all the altar pictures. Kalikrit gave Srimad- Bhagavatam class from the First Canto.

12:00 p.m. Listened to a lecture of Srila Gurudeva but fell asleep and woke up suddenly from sounds of explosions very near to our place.

1:15 p.m. Chanted japa and read from The Nectar of Book Distribution.

6:40 p.m. Listened to the Radio of Russia to find out more about the situation around us. But I concluded it was prajalpa, and instead I started to read The Nectar of Instruction. But alas, I couldn’t concentrate because of the sounds of the fierce fighting going on around us.

7:20 p.m. It is getting dark, and this note will be the last for today. All day we were fasting because we had no food. I feel very fatigued. This is the fourth day in our uncertain situation, but I realize the main disturbance comes not from flying shells but from our forgetfulness of the Lord’s protection.

O my dear Lord Nrsimhadeva, please remove the seed of fear from my heart so that I may fully fix my mind on Your lotus feet.